The dimness of the day’s fading light was reminiscent of the hopelessness gripping my heart. Yes, no doubt, in a day or two, this session would slip into the archives of a troubled marriage and pursuing our ‘normal’ life would continue. Still, an ugly voice whispered the now familiar “Until the next time.” Wondering if freedom from despair was possible, I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand, grabbed my nightgown, and headed for the shower.
Welcome to Mindfulness Monday! Where we learn some easy ways to be more present “in the moment” at our jobs, in our homes, with our families and friends.
Learning to recognize God and what He has for us in each divine moment He offers. We acknowledge the belief that God is with us always.
We confess His presence is available to us, lifting our spirit and helping us with power and grace. Learning the art of “stillness” so we can hear His voice and view ourselves, others and our surroundings through His eyes.
freedom in the midst of despair
Like most newly married couples, hope held our hearts, laughter graced our lips, and love filled our eyes. Heading into our new roles, we carried hope for the future before us. We believed we had learned from our previous marriages, both ending in difficult divorces, only to find we still carried all of the unopened baggage with us into our new relationship.
Before long, the shiny fairy tale dimmed in the hard of the every day.
My high hopes and enthusiastic efforts became tarnished as my sensitive spirit sank under harsh realities. The roller coaster ride of emotions took its toll and despair creeped in. Despite my best fear not efforts, each day was nothing more than a walk through discouragement.
My heart ached for freedom from doubts and despair gripping me each night when the busyness of the day faded into the silent darkness. Though I ran full throttle from my past, I never realized you cannot outrun something inside of you.
hope in the midst of brokenness
The nightmarish roller coaster of highs and lows reduced our marriage to nothing more than a facade. One that continued for many long years until God spoke a life transforming truth to my soul.
Is my marriage broken? Is there any hope for healing?
Continuing to grow in my mindfulness practice of being still before God, seeking His Presence daily, breathed courage into my soul to ask these questions. In the safety of my Heavenly Father’s love, He used my troubled marriage as a refining tool, leading me to healing, hope, and oneness in Him.
Read my full story and testimony of God’s transforming grace, as I Share the truths from Scripture which changed my view of myself, my husband, our marriage, and most importantly God, at Joyful Life blog.