“For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.” (James 4:14) Working in hospice, I meet people at the end of life’s journey. While these moments remain some of the hardest to hold, they also offer the greatest wisdom. For in the waning moments of one’s days, the true substance of life is revealed.
Like a vapor, the fragility of life’s moments reminds us nothing is held forever, inviting us instead to savor even the simplest of delights one more time.
One of the areas of care on which our hospice teams focus is “hopes and wishes”. What last things or one more time experiences do patients desire at end of life?
The answer may surprise you.
While occasional bucket list type of wishes pop up, the majority of requests beg yet another taste of a special meal, a few more moments with loved ones, the delight of another kiss, or the caress of wind on their face, the sound of a beloved song, even the feel of beach sand between their toes.
The substance of life consists not of the grand, but of the simple, earthy delights we hold every single day.
Anne Lamott says it best:
“Life feeds anyone who is open to taste its food, wonder, and glee; its immediacy. We see this toward the end of many people’s lives, when everything in their wasted bodies fights to stay alive, for a few more kisses or bites of ice cream, one more hour with you. Life is still flowing through then: life is them.”
How Do You Hold a Vapor?
Incredibly sobering, the metaphor of life as a vapor instills a certain urgency to life. Yet many times I swallow the lies busyness and procrastination peddle of having time “later” for savoring simple pleasures.
Anyone living their last days or moments will tell you no matter the desire, like a vapor, you simply cannot hold onto life’s wonders one moment longer than God ordains.
I respectfully disagree.
Though we cannot live one second longer than God ordains, we can, however, hold the vapor called life.
How?
By intentionally choosing to capture the wonders of our lives through presence, gratitude and loving well.
Our Moments Are the Substance of Life
The sum total of our lives rests hidden in the moments we live; or more poignantly in how we live them.
Too often the back burner or that ever undefinable “later” house my intentions for capturing the meaningful moments in life.
Yet standing by the bedside of someone courageously living their final moments, I never hear longing for moments to fold laundry, mow the lawn, or vacuum the house.
What I do hear are regrets for time spent on those things in lieu of wonder filled moments with loved ones, too few hugs, or moments spent truly savoring God’s abundant blessings.
In her inimitable thought-provoking way, Mary Oliver invites us to consider the true substance of life in her poem “Summer Day”, ending with these haunting words:
“Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?”
If breath remains in your lungs, you still have the opportunity for redeeming the remaining time of your one wild and precious life.
- Live Present. Determine wherever you are, to be all there. Give the gift of presence to loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, even strangers. Ground yourself in the present through your five senses. Remember while God was with us in the past, and will be with us in the future, we can only encounter Him in this present moment.
- Live Thankful. Find gratitude for what you have, rather than living in discontent with what you lack. Look around at the myriad simple delights God lavishes upon you and pour forth the sacrifice of praise. Even in the hard moments living thankful reminds us of God’s goodness even there.
- Love Well Now. Never defer love. Loving well need not be lavish demonstrations of affection. Simple moments of connection through hugs, smiles, laughter, or presence cost nothing, but provide a priceless gift both to us and others. Say the words now, say them often, before time, tragedy, or disease steal them from you.
The Substance of Life
Perhaps death teaches us more about life than any other experience. For in the exhale of a last breath a tremulous silence echoes the finality of our earthly life.
While those of us who believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior hold the Hope of eternity, which far exceeds the pleasures of this earthly life, the substance of life here and now is not frivolous or meaningless.
To the contrary, God meant for this earthly life to be a taste of what is yet to come.
The true substance of life exists in our ability to encounter and embrace eternity in the intentionality of presence, gratitude, and loving God and others well.
In Loving Memory of my beautiful sister-in-law, Linda, who passed from this life to the next into the arms of her Savior on August 29th ending a courageous three-year battle with aggressive breast cancer.
Though the cancer ravaged her body, it never stole her true beauty or faith. Thank you for loving us all so well, Linda.
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I’m so sorry about the loss of your sister-in-law, Donna. 🙁 This post would honor her life, reminding us all to truly live our days, not just get through them. Blessings to you, friend.
Thank you, Lisa, for your kind words of comfort. Truly living my days can be a challenge, but times like this remind me what truly is important in life.
This is beautiful, Donna. Sometime, I need to tell you about the last birthday celebration we had with my dad, less than 24 hours before he died. 🙂 I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister-in-law. What a hard year you’ve had. Hugging you from a distance, dear friend.
Thank you, Lois, for taking the time to read my post and for your kind words of comfort. I would so love to hear about your Dad’s last birthday celebration! Sometimes we fail to realize that we are enjoying the last moments together we may be gifted on this earth. All the more reason to love well NOW!
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister in law. This is a beautiful tribute to her and lives well lived. Saying a prayer for you all.
Thank you, Lauren, for taking the time to read my post. Your kind and encouraging words are a blessing.
Donna, I’m so sorry for your loss. This was a beautful and sobering message about life. I love how you describe “living life to the fullest” as savouring the simple moments we cherish the most. I pray to live present and thankful and to love well.
Thank you, Karen for your kind words. May we choose to live life to the fullest, honoring God’s gift of life!
When I clicked your link, I never expected to get emotional. What a beautiful post, Donna. So beautifully and well said.
Thank you so much Ashley for taking the time to read my post, may God soften our hearts to living a more intentional life!
What a beautiful tribute to your sister in law. I’m almost at a loss for words. So beautifully spoken.
Visiting today from Joanne’s
Thank you, my sweet friend, Paula for your kind words, praising God you saw the beauty in His words here today!
Thank you so very much for sharing these truths and tribute of your Sister in law with Sweet Tea & Friends this month.
Thank YOU, Paula, for reading!
Seeing gratitude even during hard moments keeps us present to all the treasures we are to savour during our short-time here. I pray not to waste my time worrying, but instead “to encounter and embrace eternity in the intentionality of presence, gratitude, and loving God and others well.” Eloquently said!
Lynn, gratitude surely changes our perspective especially in hard times. Even in the fleeting moments of a vaporous life, we have much for which to be thankful!
Donna, what a beautiful way to honor Linda. Life seems so short, and your reminder to savor Him and others as He and they are the most important in our lives. I receive your wisdom to “intentionally choose to capture the wonders of our lives through presence, gratitude, and loving well.”
Lisa, I am grateful for your kind words of encouragement. May God richly bless you as you live intentionally present, with gratitude and loving God and others well.
Donna, so beautiful and I am sorry for the loss of your sister in law. I appreciate and love how through your own suffering and those around you find beauty, love, joy and peace. Turning 64 today I am loving more fully than I ever have.
Wonderful insights in your post. “Live present, Live thankful and Love well.” Your sister-in-law was blessed to have your presence.
Carol, I thank you for visiting today, and praise God you found a blessing in God’s words here!
Donna, I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. This post was most comforting and encouraging. It has amazed me how the Lord draws closer to us during these painful times. “God meant for this earthly life to be a taste of what is yet to come.” Indeed, He uses these times to remind us how to live well and to keep our eyes on what is eternal. Hugs, friend!
Thank you my friend for your kind and encouraging words. Clinging to the God of all comfort reminds us heaven is near.