Like so many broken dreams, the glass shards slid from my hands into the waste basket. The tiny slashes on my palms betrayed the jagged edges recently held there. As I rinsed my hands under cold water, the sting of open wounds spoke of loss. Choosing gratitude in the hard places feels like holding the jagged pieces of your life, and in spite of the pain, seeing beauty.
Welcome to Mindfulness Monday! Where we learn some easy ways to be more present “in the moment” at our jobs, in our homes, with our families and friends.
Learning to recognize God and what He has for us in each divine moment He offers. We acknowledge the belief that God is with us always.
We confess His presence is available to us, lifting our spirit and helping us with power and grace. Learning the art of “stillness” so we can hear His voice and view ourselves, others and our surroundings through His eyes.
weekly mindful gratitude challenge
Each Monday throughout November, return for Mindfulness Monday and find your weekly mindful gratitude challenges. Share your progress, thoughts and results on social media using the #mindfulgratitudechallenge, or leave a comment on the post!
Last week we focused on exploring th grace of gratitude through the intentionality of slowing down, seeking and savoring God. Hopefully you enjoyed the guided exercises and setting aside time for the mindful gratitude challenge. If not, catch up HERE.
At the end of the post, you can sign up for my FREE Serenity in Gratitude devotional if you want even more ideas.
gratitude reveals beauty in the hard places
Though only an inexpensive mug, it held more than coffee; it held memories in the pictures adorning the outside. Pictures of my children; my son and his wife, my girls together. Photos of my husband and I, my dear pup, Golda, of little booties for an expected grandchild.
Yet the shattered pieces of broken pictures spoke more truth than I wanted to hear. The smiles once peering at me, now carried their own pain: divorce, death, loss, heartbreak. Overwhelmed with the brokenness not only of the mug, but the reality the pieces represented, tears filled my eyes.
Oddly, I felt compelled towards thanking God. At first my mind went blank, then slowly at first, words of gratitude came one by one.
Give thanks in everything,for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
- Gratitude for each of my children’s lives. Though broken, marred and stained, beauty shone through because God still held the pen; their story was not complete yet.
- Gratitude for a daughter-in-law who loved, honored and remained an important part of our lives, and our daughters’ lives though her marriage was over.
- Gratitude for almost 15 years of unconditional love, joy, loyalty and comfort from a dog sorely missed, who came to us during a season of pain.
- Gratitude at the privilege of holding my grandaughter Indigo, and kissing her beautiful face, before leaving her in the arms of Jesus.
- Gratitude at knowing I will see Indigo in heaven one day.
- Gratitude for memories, though painful for they are part of my story.
Choosing Gratitude=choosing grace
Choosing gratitude in hard places never comes easy. When the steel grip of pain encloses around your heart, the only sounds issuing forth speak grief, hopelessness. You need not feel shame, for words spoken through pain spew from a broken, wounded heart.
On the Cross, Jesus cried, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) Jesus identifies with your pain, with your feelings of abandonment in the midst of trials.
In the midst of one of my hardest places, I had no words, the pain in my heart stifled even my tears. But someone with me experiencing the same pain, began a prayer of thanksgiving; their words faltered as sobs choked their flow. But as words of gratitude broke the silence of the room, something changed.
The sacrifice of thanksgiving broken on the altar of pain unleashed the full grace of God.
Choosing Gratitude in the hard places
The expression of gratitude in general evokes positive pictures of blessings, health, memorable experiences, people and God’s goodness in our lives. Many times, gratitude sourced in positivity fills our gratitude journals, and at times, becomes the things we take most for granted.
Choosing gratitude in the hard places offers tremendous potential for healing, spiritual maturity and personal growth.
While thoughts of gratitude in moments of deep sorrow or trial seldom surface immediately, we can make time for reflection when we settle into a better place emotionally and spiritually. The following exercises offer mindful ways for looking back with intention while viewing the situation through the perspective of gratitude.
embracing the hard with god
As always, I recommend setting a specific time and place free of distraction; choose a place where you feel comfortable, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Keep your Bible and a journal nearby.
Begin with slow, deep breathing; keep your exhale longer than your inhale. With each breath focus on relaxing your body, especially any tense areas. When you feel relaxed, slip into prayer asking God to make His Presence real to you as you sit quietly with Him.
- Recall. Bring to mind a situation of deep sorrow or pain; perhaps a season of suffering or trial, or even a painful argument, disappointment or financial hardship. Avoid “rehashing”, simply call it to mind, allow yourself to feel the pain or other emotions, but sit with these emotions without engaging.
- Request. Invite God into the situation you hold in your mind. Remember He was there when it happened. Ask Him to show you His Presence in that situation.
- Release. Visualize placing the situation in God’s hands; release the negative emotions to Him. Trust the outcome, though painful and not what you desired, to His sovereignty and goodness.
- Receive. Open your heart with full acceptance of the events, knowing everything in your life sifts through the hands of God, intended for your good and His glory.
Embracing Gratitude with God
After working through the above steps in your own time, shift to a perspective of gratitude for the same situation. Thank God for:
- The person you were in the situation; your efforts to accept and navigate the situation the best way you were able.
- The person you are nowas a result of the hardship; the positive areas of growth and strength.
- The positive lesson and wisdom you learned from the situation.
- The trial, suffering, disappointment or hardship itself; name a specific aspect of the situation for which you are grateful.
- New intimacy with Christ; the things you learned about Him by going through this situation.
grateful in the broken places
No one chooses suffering or walking in the hard places of life, but sometimes God chooses those paths for you. Each time you move towards choosing gratitude in the hard places of life, you more quickly invite God into those circumstances.
Walking through the door of pain, knowing God meets you there, alters your perspective from one of dread or despair to one of expectancy and gratitude. For in the hard places, we learn to love God more deeply, listen to God more attentively and thank God more fervently.
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Your illustration of the broken mug brings home loss, and yet you drew us forward in recalling previous days and cherishing them. I think cherishing the heart of people is such a key even if the relationship has changed and is no longer what it used to be, we can cherish the heart of the person – near or far. I appreciated this, “Gratitude for memories, though painful for they are part of my story. Choosing gratitude equals choosing grace.”
Thank you, Lisa, for your insight to my story. I am learning though things aren’t as they were or even as I hoped they would be, I can still cherish the heart of my children. Embracing these hard parts is truly an avenue to healing.
This was so good >> “Each time you move towards choosing gratitude in the hard places of life, you more quickly you invite God into those circumstances.” Thank you for reminding us all to quickly invite God into those hard places of life. Blessings to you, friend!
Thank you, Joanne, I think learning to express gratitude in the hard places is a process we learn gradually, but God is good and encourages us along the way!
Thank you for vulnerably sharing about your hard places and challenging us in this. Beautifully written.
Thank you Lauren for your kind encouragement!!
Amen Donna, I love this –> “ Each time you move towards choosing gratitude in the hard places of life, you more quickly you invite God into those circumstances.” Blessings.
Giving thanks in hard times is probably one of the most difficult and freeing practices I’ve experienced. thank you for reminding us Donna!
Amber I appreciate your comment, seeking gratitude in hard times stretches us but also frees us!
Donna, this is so good. It is hard to be grateful during hard times. But it does bring healing. Love your exercises here. Often something similar happens with a good therapist. But we can do it ourself or with a good friend. But looking at those hard times and seeing the good learned, how we grew, or what we learned, helps make meaning of the event and helps us move on and heal and see it as something God can use for our good.
I have a friend right now who needs to do this, but keeps saying they don’t have the time. And yet the past is stealing and occupying most of their day time. But it is our choice. Only we can do this hard and healing work and give ourselves this gift. Someone cannot do it for us.
Theresa, I rejoice that you found my post so helpful. Expressing gratitude in the hard places is certainly not easy, but is a true way to healing that God provides for us. I know when I am able to view the trials through eyes of gratitude I grow and mature in my relationship with the Lord. But as you say, we have to ‘choose’ it. I’m so sorry your friend is not in that place yet, perhaps over time she will come to know God more deeply and trust Him with the hard places enough to thank Him for them.